Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
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Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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