I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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