i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
