Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
