oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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