I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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