i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
