I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
