i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
