ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
