she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize