So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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