You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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