you would pick up someone in the library
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
