Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
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No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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