Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
