Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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