I just cut my nipple shaving
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
