they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
