I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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