I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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