...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
