Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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