Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
