He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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