Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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