Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
