I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
