Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
