I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
