I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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