If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize