that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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