Little spoons don't ask big questions
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
