All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
