The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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