do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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