Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
