can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize