Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
