I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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