i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
