I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
