I could have mohawked her pubes.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
