you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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