What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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