The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
