the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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