maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
