I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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