Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
