Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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