i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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