moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
