Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize