So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
