I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
