Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
