Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize