You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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