Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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